Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
