as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize