3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
