Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
