Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize