never play flip cup with pint glasses
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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