She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
