i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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