I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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