I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
