If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
