That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
