well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
