whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
