How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
