R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
