We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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