I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
