Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
