Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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