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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

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• (682): View more from Texas

  you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  ...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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• (518): View more from New York

  The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties

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