My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.