so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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