I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
