wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
