I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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