Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
