i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
