I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
