At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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