Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
