And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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