Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
