i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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