Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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