I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
