My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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