So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
