You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
