I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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