I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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