It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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