you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
