I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
