Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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