I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
