my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i came on her dog
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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