Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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