All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize