Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
zippers are such a cool invention
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
