Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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