I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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