then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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