What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Your dad touched me again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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