oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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