So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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