On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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