there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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