am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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