my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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