ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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