Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
