So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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