Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
