Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
areolas are like halos for boobs.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize