You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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