She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
