it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
