she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize