i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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