you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
