Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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