Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
